I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I need water and some morals
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
