when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
from now on my penis is your penis
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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