is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
i think my cat just said my name.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
