i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
