For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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