I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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