Three words: puerto rican gang bang
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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