She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
