I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
