mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
