You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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