After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
