I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
