Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
