hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
