capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
