I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
