dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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