R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
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