..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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