I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
