It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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