Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
