let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
