I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
