Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Screwed.edu
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Randomize
