one might say we're banned from that church
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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