If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
