You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
