idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
