I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
