hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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