I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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