i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
we're so committed to being not committed
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
