Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
