Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
