Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
