Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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