I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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