so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
