i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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