I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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