everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
