one two three fourrrrnication!
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
