god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
