i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize