Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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