If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
