We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
