Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
